based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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