I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
