did you get engaged???
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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