ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
