What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize