my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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