hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
