This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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