somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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