I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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