i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
