you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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