he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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