If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
