forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
