you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
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I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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