she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.