I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
These tits shall not be calmed
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