hotel room ftw
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?