My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.