Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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