white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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