no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
