Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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