Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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