I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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