"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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