According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I love you. Go after that dick
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
