Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
