At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize