Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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