love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
