i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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