one might say we're banned from that church
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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