That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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