HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
