i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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