You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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