so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
