i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
