I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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