Define "chronic" masturbator.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sprained my soul last night
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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