how can u be prego again
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
