dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
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The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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