I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
