fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.