I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner