YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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