Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me