we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF