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Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
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