I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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