then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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