If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
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that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
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I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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